Agony of Defeat
by iLUVdraco
Summary: Cho Chang isn't as innocent as she seems...There is a...gory ending. That's the main reason it is PG-13. Anyway...r/r, cause I love reviews.


A/n-Well, I deleted one of my fics, so I have to come out with a bunch of new ones to replace them all. So, this is it!  
  
Disclaimer-I own nothing and I never will!  
  
  
Love. A four letter word that has no meaning. Real love is impossible to attain. Today, people only think they are in love, though they will never ever be in love as they do in books. In the end they will be hurt. There false love will end in heartbreak and pain. Because now people pretend. They act as though love is nothing more than a game. Perhaps it is. Maybe I have been thinking falsely about these things. But I know that each time I stare at a group of young lovers, I realize that they will end up in pain eventually. But even so...I wish I was the girl on the man's arm. Even if she suffers from misery.  
  
  
"Cho...um...er...do you wanna go to the ball with me?" Cedric asked, dropping his usual confident self.  
I stared at him. On of the most popular boys was asking ME to the ball. Who'd have thought. I smiled. "Of course I will."   
He looked relieved and smiled back. "Ok, well, I'm gonna be late. See ya later!" He turned and left.   
I watched his retreiving back, and felt a pang of guilt in my heart. I didn't actually like him. It was just...I was so desperate that I would've said yes to anyone (except maybe Crabbe and Goyle). I felt someone knock me in the side. "Cho, what was that all about?" It was my best friend, Leah. I smiled at her.   
"You'll never believe who just asked me to the ball."   
She looked at me, and her eyes widened in realization. "You...you don't mean...you gotta be...oh my god! Cedric Diggory actually asked you to the ball? Oh my God!!! This is big news!" She was very excited about this.  
"Goshes, don't make it sound like such a big deal!" I said, trying to make her calm down. "Listen, I know that he is popular, and handsome, and an excellent student...wait! This is big new!" I realized how weird it was that he asked me, of all people.   
"Come on, let's get to class and figure out what it is you are going to do with your hair." Leah said, pulling my arm away.  
  
  
The ball went perfect, and I played my part perfectly. Even after the ball I pretend to actually like him. We walked down the hall together and talked. We spent time together. But, I still had the feelings inside that made me wish that I hadn't decided to pretend. I wished that I could just tell him the truth, and get it over with, but I couldn't. And each second I spent with him, I wished more and more that it would stop. I wished to be away from him, but I knew I couldn't. So I didn't.  
I supposed that if I had, I wouldn't be in this position right now, but since I didn't, nothing can stop me...  
Cedric was a champion in the Triwizard Tournament. He was favored to win, and I guess that that made my popularity increase. I was in "love" with Cedric, and Cedric was perfect. But then....then...a terrible thing happened.   
Cedric did win the Triwizard Tournament. But he had to pay dearly in return. The cost for victory? Death. Cedric was killed...MURDERED by Voldemort. Harry Potter, the co-champion, had managed to excape, but Cedric hadn't. I was sad, of course, you can't spend so much time with a person without actually liking them. But I wasn't that sad because of his death. True, I was upset about it. True, I cried because of it. But the real reason I was so upset was because Cedric had died thinking my false love was true. He had died believeing my lies were true. And so alas...my lies were finally getting to my concious. I stopped eating. My parents got me help during the summer, and I pretended that it helped. But...it wasn't worth it. Because....  
Now...I will make it all end.   
  
Blood is pouring from my wrist. It is spilling over and onto my bed. As each drop of blood extracted from my body, I felt as though poison was being extracted from my veins. I was now able to think things through before I picked the knife off the floor and...made all the pain end. I suppose I deserve this. My vision was starting to blur, and I look at the sheets below me. It appeared that I had lost a lot of blood. I started to feel light-headed. It was time...  
I put my hands out in front of me and felt around my bed blindly for the knife. I found it seconds later and lifted it to my neck. I prepared myself for what was about to come, and whispered to the night, "I'm sorry for everything I've done."   
With a sudden, and quick movement, I pulled the cold blade across my throat. It was pain as I had never felt before. But, I realized that the pain was leaving. It felt as if I was...disappearing. I realized now, all too late, that love wasn't worth it, unless it was real. I realized that I shouldn't have played with someone's heart. No matter, because I was paying for it now. Then. before I had time to think things over, life fled my body. My lies had been forgiven. At last....  



End file.
